Dear Sisters,
A rousing melody on the classical radio awakened me at 7:30 this morning. We’d had a hymn sing at our house and lots of company the night before, keeping me up late. I would have rolled over and tuned the music out – but I didn’t want it to wake up Lana, my roommate in the bottom bunk, and I was scheduled to meet a friend for coffee at 9:00. So I hurried down the ladder, stumbled across the room, and somehow managed to hit the power button on the radio.
I’m not a morning person, and early hours tend to find me disoriented and incoherent J. But I managed to find my way down the hallway to the shower, and saw a sign on the bathroom door. “Do not shower.” What is with that? I thought.
I leaned over the banister and called down to Mom in a groggy voice. “Why can’t we shower, Mom?”
She explained something about the water filter having a problem, and no one could shower until 9:00.
“But I have to be gone by 9:00, Mom,” I groaned. “I have to shower!”
“I’m sorry, honey,” she called back up. “It’s not working, and I can’t shower now either.”
“But I have to leave…” I whined, still trying to wake up, beginning to realize that my schedule constraints could not fix the water filter. My beautifully laid out plans for this morning were already going awry. I would have to make do without a shower and go on my way. I had no choice, no way to change my situation.
I stumbled down the stairs and looked out the window at the front porch. The sunrise illuminated a beautiful frozen winter morning. It dawned on me then that I did have a choice. I couldn’t change my circumstances. I couldn’t fix the shower, or resolve the much greater disappointments and unknowns in my life. But I could change my attitude.
It was my decision – would I live today frustrated and resentful, or would I choose to rejoice in hope?
Every day you and I face choices. We have dreams and desires for our lives, plans for very little details like morning schedules, and plans for big decisions like education, ministry, marriage. We have a vision of how we want life to work.
Sometimes God’s plan matches our plan. Everything works out just how we’d envisioned. Other times God’s plan is similar, but involves a little adjustment on our part, a few sacrifices or unexpected changes.
And then other times God’s plan completely intersects ours. His way points in a totally different direction, involving something we never expected, something we didn’t ask for, something we desperately did not want.
Bethany is a teenage girl who loves God with all her heart. She’s been battling cancer for a few years, and just found out that her cancer is growing and inoperable. She may have only a few months to live.
Kathryn and her sister were serving God in Moscow, Russia. One morning as they stood on a street corner, a drunk driver hit them. Her sister died instantly, and Kathryn has faced intense physical challenges ever since.
Elisabeth Elliot and her husband had surrendered their lives to Jesus and were working to reach an Indian tribe who had never heard the Gospel. Her husband was speared to death in the prime of his life only a short time after they were married. She was left in Ecuador, a single mother.
Lisa Beamer was an average Christian woman, leading Bible studies, mothering two children, and loving her husband Todd. On September 11th, 2001, her husband boarded United flight 93. He never came home from work that day.
Each of these women had dreams, desires, just like us. They had plans for their future, ways they envisioned their lives working out. And then God allowed a tragedy. His plan involved something they did not expect, something they did not ask for, something they desperately did not want.
We look at the promises of the Bible – promises that God causes all things to work for our good, that He knows the plans He has for us to give us a future and a hope, and so many other optimistic verses that seem to paint a picture of a wonderful, happy life. And then we look at reality, tragedy, disappointment. Points where God’s plan leads in an entirely different direction from our plan, and involves circumstances that we did not want and cannot change.
Where is the goodness of God? Where is His love, His omnipotence, in events like these? He could heal Bethany’s cancer, but so far He hasn’t. He could have kept Kathryn’s sister, Jim Elliot, or Todd Beamer alive. But He didn’t. Why not?
The Bible tells us, “Good and upright is the Lord ….”– Psalm 25:8.
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” – Rom. 8:28.
But how do we balance that with a disappointing reality?
In our minds, good equals our plan, what we want, the fulfillment of our desires and dreams.
But in God’s mind (and His thoughts are so much higher than ours – Isaiah 55:9), good equals the fulfillment of His plan for us to be conformed to the image of His Son. “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son….” – Romans 8:29. That is the context of Romans 8:28.
Why was Peter released, but John the Baptist died in prison?
Why did Jesus calm the storm for His disciples, but later allow Paul to be shipwrecked?
Why did God say “no” to your dreams, allow your heart to be broken, and lead you in a direction you’d never anticipated?
We don’t know why. We can guess at reasons, but we can’t fully understand, and we can’t change what happened.
But we can change our attitude.
Today we can despair and give up following God, because His plan is not what we may have wanted.
Or today we can go through the motions of following God, drag ourselves through His will with a heart of bitterness, resentment, self-pity, and despair, because God overturned our schedule, or said “no” to our dreams.
Or today we can deny ourselves and lay our plan on the altar – the little details and the big things. We can give up our definition of good, our opinion of how life should work, and we can accept God’s definition of good and trust His character when we don’t understand. Today we can choose to accept His plan with both hands, to fully embrace the opportunities He does give, and to joyfully do without the opportunities He withholds.
Lisa Beamer writes in her excellent book Let’s Roll, about “…thoughts of all the loss that we have experienced personally. We’re left with choices about what we will do with those feelings. The choices… are to look at all the things we’ve lost or to look at all the things we have, to become bitter or to become better, to live in fear or to live in hope.”
It is our choice. We cannot always choose our circumstances. But we can choose our attitude.
“And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.” – Psalm 39:7.
Last fall I surrendered to Jesus in a new way (see the article “Questions” in this issue). In December we felt His call to transition The King’s Daughter ministry online. That decision was not impulsive, but the culmination of weeks of prayer and thought. And in January I felt as if my life was emptying out, as if my plans were crumbling, as if nothing was how I’d expected or wanted it.
So I face a choice, and so do you. What will we hope in – the fulfillment of our dreams and desires? They may crumble, and we may plummet to despair.
Or will we hope in God? “…And you will know that I am the Lord; those who hopefully wait for Me will not be put to shame.” – Isaiah 49:23.
Lisa Beamer and Elisabeth Elliot, Kathryn and Bethany, chose to live in hope – hope in God. So do I. Will you? ©www.bodefamily.net/kd
